Review: MWF Seeking BFF by Rachel Bertsche
MWF Seeking BFF:
My Yearlong Search For A New Best Friend
by Rachel Bertsche
Genre: Memoir
Publisher: Ballantine Books
Publish Date: December 20, 2011
Format: Paperbackback | 336 pages
Rating: 4 of 5
When Rachel Bertsche first moved to Chicago with her boyfriend, now husband, she left her good friends behind in New York. She made a few new friends but no one that she felt comfortable calling at the last minute for girl talk over brunch or a reality-TV marathon over a bottle of wine. So she decided to set out on a mission to go on fifty-two friend-dates over the next year. What began as a blog to track her year-long progress resulted in this entertaining memoir.
Rachel writes in a witty, engaging style. In addition to her humorous accounts of 52 friend dates she sprinkles in her findings on research she did on adult friendship and friendlessness. She employed every option she coud think of to meet new people and, literally, ask for their friendship. When you’re young and a high school or college student, friends come easy and naturally. But something happens when we get older and it’s not so easy anymore. Won’t people think you are weird if you ask strangers to go to lunch or shopping with you? No, it turns out they won’t.
What did I learn from her friend-date project?
• By actively seeking friends you dramatically speed up the process
• People are friendlier than we think, most are flattered to be approached
• Most people won’t follow up on a ‘let’s get together’ unless you contact them
• Most people prefer email, txt or IM to set up a friend date
• Be a better listener than a talker
• As an adult you won’t find the same kind of friend you had when you were 15.
In addition to being a captivating story, I found the book to be thought provoking and, in a way, inspiring. I don’t have as many friends as I used to have. Some moved away, some drifted away as we aged and our interests changed, some didn’t have time as their priorities changed. Things happen. And with a busy schedule, I didn’t actively try to replace them with new ones.
Wouldn’t it be nice to have more friends? I can say with certainty that I couldn’t do a lot of the things Rachel did, such as renting a friend, or putting an ad in the paper. But joining some new groups and meetups in my community is a possibility I might explore. Studies show that people are happier and healthier when they have a strong social network and varied circle of friends.
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More information about Rachel on her blog.
Follow Rachel on twitter or Facebook.
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Source: Copy provided by the publisher for review.
Under My Apple Tree 
One time, while browsing Craiglist (I was sort of addicted to it at one time) I saw someone put in an ad looking for a new bf, since she’d just moved into town. At first, I thought she was pathetic and so desperate. After a few minutes, I thought she was brilliant. I often wonder how she fared in her search for a new bf. I think this could be the next big thing. Forget online matchmaking. Finding friends with similar interests, or friends who are completely different from you that can expose you to different things, whatever butters your biscuit.
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I’m looking forward to reading this book, Leslie. Although I have a built-in network of good friends in my congregation, it will be interesting to see the types of friendships that are out there. Intriguing to think on “As an adult you won’t find the same kind of friend you had when you were 15.”
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She was referring to the “attached at the hip” kind of friend that you didn’t make a move without consulting!
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I think it took a lot of courage to search for a friend and then write the book. Intriguing idea. I bought the book for my daughter who is in a similar position now. However, she’s also expecting a baby so doesn’t have much time to look for a friend (didn’t know about the baby when I bought the book, lol). I enjoyed your perspective on the book, Leslie.
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Great post, Leslie! The book sounds really good and useful, and I enjoyed your summary, which I want to remember.
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We’ve moved a lot so I’ve become pretty good at meeting people, but it is harder when your kids grow up. I bet a lot of people could benefit from this book.
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Sounds like an interesting book. I could do with more friends as I also moved around a lot. I usually leave it to chance and that seems to work, but I’d love to know what exactly Rachel did to get more friends. I should read this, I guess. Intriguing.
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My circle of friends has definitely shrunk since I stopped working professionally. My daughter is in college, so i don’t have the school network anymore. I do have a regular volunteer commitment, and that is really the source of my friendships these days.
I’m afraid that I am too much of an introvert to actually implement the suggestions in this book, but I’m sure there is alot of useful info for others who are more outgoing.
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I really need to buy this book. I say that every time I see it. It calls to me because I just don’t have any female friends. I have some great guy friends, but it’s just not the same.
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