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February 6, 2013 / Leslie

Spotlight On: Friendships Don’t Just Happen!

One of my favorite books last year was MWF Seeking BFF: My Yearlong Search For A New Best Friend by Rachel Bertsche, a memoir about her mission to go on fifty-two friend-dates over the next year to find a new best friend.

One of the ways Rachel met people was by joining the group, an online community that connects women to new local friends. Intrigued and inspired by her experience, I decided to join. My local group is wonderful and the events I’ve attended have been positive and uplifting. In a couple of weeks we will be meeting to discuss the book Friendships Don’t Just Happen! by Shasta Nelson, founder of
Friendships Just Don't Happen by Shasta NelsonFriendships Don’t Just Happen!
by Shasta Nelson

Publish Date: February 12, 2013
Format: Paperback and Kindle | 254 pages

Book Overview:

In short, this is a book about how to create meaningful friendships as adults—going through the 5 steps from how to meet them and eventually leading to what I call Frientimacy—Friendship Intimacy. Most of us aren’t just craving more contacts, but actual real friends. This book is written for women to better understand which of the 5 types of friends we have, which ones we need right now, and to know how to develop those friendships that matter.

The book is divided into three main parts:

  • The first part, “From Loneliness to Frientimacy,” helps women identify their personal relational needs using Shasta’s 5 Circles of Connectedness and helps set healthy expectations.
  • The second part, “Five Steps to Turn Friendly People We Meet into Friends Who Matter,” teaches the 5 Steps to Friendships, taking one chapter to cover each step: Be Open, Initiate Consistently, Add Positivity, Increase Vulnerability, and Practice Forgiveness.
  • The third part, “Friendships Don’t Just Keep Happening: Be Intentional,” covers the five friendship threats—jealousy, judgment, non-reciprocation, neglect, and blame—and helps the reader end the book with a clear plan of how to move toward the friendships that matter most to her.

I’ve ordered my copy. I’ll have a review and update of our group discussion in a few weeks.

Post linked at “Waiting On” Wednesday, a weekly event hosted by Jill at Breaking The Spine that spotlights upcoming releases that we’re eagerly anticipating.
© 2012 Under My Apple Tree. All rights reserved.


Leave a Comment
  1. Carol / Feb 6 2013 3:58 pm

    I may need to pick this one up. And check out the website.


    • Leslie / Feb 6 2013 5:53 pm

      Give it a try… really! I know it sounds weird… but it’s not. We get together in small groups and go out for coffee, a meal or an event. Last weekend four of us went to Chocolate Expo. Chocolate and candy shops were giving out free samples. Yum.


  2. Suko / Feb 6 2013 6:29 pm

    In the age of Facebook, I think it can be harder to find real friends, or to keep good friendship going.This book does sound like it would be a good resource book for women. Very nice presentation, Leslie!


  3. bibliosue / Feb 7 2013 7:45 pm

    Thank you for the testimonial on Girlfriend Circles. I was interested in it also after reading about it in MWF seeking BFF but skeptical at the same time — I think I’ll give it a try knowing that you’ve had success with it as well.
    The book is also going on my to read list.


  4. RIN / Feb 13 2013 11:57 am

    This sounds like a good, informative read. I haven’t read much on psychology-type things except psych textbooks in college, and I know that i tend to get lazy in my friendships, even though I love them. The Girlfriend Circles sounds really interesting as well, though I’m not sure it would work well for me right now (live in a pretty small town).


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